A few weeks ago, when the weather started to turn, people in casual conversation would ask, “Aren’t you loving this weather?” I would make a quiet, polite reply, “it's OK”. But the truth of it was, not really. I was having a hard time letting go of summer. I was sad about closing the pool, sad about the end of fresh tomatoes, peppers, and herbs just outside my door. It took me a couple of weeks of mourning the end of summer before I could truly welcome fall. Even though with fall comes my favorite time for camping.
But then again, you can't stop the calendar and I have the awful feeling of wanting to dig my heels in. Sadly, this past weekend ended our camping season for the year.
I'm not sure when this change in me occurred. I used to be one of those people who eagerly welcomed the next season and the experiences it held in store. Now, when I see school supplies stocked in stores in July I get a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Then in September, I have the urge to buy new notebooks. I think it would be wonderful if the current in vogue reminder to be mindful, living in the current moment, would apply to store shelves.
Maybe it's age, making me want to hold on to all the moments that make the seasons meaningful. Maybe it's because I often think of the loved ones I lost too soon and the meaningful moments they were denied.
So for now I will need a minute to grieve the end of camping season. But I know there's still a lot of fall left. I know I will start to feel my excitement build for Halloween and Thanksgiving. And believe me, I won't rush through those holidays, or the days that surround them. I will be holding on to them as long as I can.
